Married 3-5 years · Money · Together today
One of us left home in our first 5 years - and we're still together
We have been married for 3 to 5 years. Ours is a church marriage. We have two children together. We live in Nyanza.
Both spouses' sides
In-laws interfering in my marriage: what helped other couples
A mother-in-law who visits for months, family meetings about your marriage, pressure to send money home. Couples who set boundaries together share how they did it.
What couples told us
How many named this challenge
33%
Based on 529 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · How we count
What helped most
Show the numbers
| Answer | People | % |
|---|---|---|
| Nothing helped | 55 | 31.8% |
| Friends | 25 | 14.5% |
| Pastor, imam or faith leader | 20 | 11.6% |
| Mentor or older couple | 18 | 10.4% |
| My family | 18 | 10.4% |
| Professional counsellor | 17 | 9.8% |
| Elders | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| My spouse's family | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Online groups or social media | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| A book, course or seminar | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| No one | 0 | 0% |
| Other | 0 | 0% |
Based on 173 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · How we count
What did not help
Show the numbers
| Answer | People | % |
|---|---|---|
| Silent treatment | 86 | 49.7% |
| Friends or family taking sides | 68 | 39.3% |
| Threatening divorce | 52 | 30.1% |
| Involving too many people | 48 | 27.7% |
| Social media | 30 | 17.3% |
| Revenge | 21 | 12.1% |
| Leaving home | 19 | 11% |
| Other | 0 | 0% |
Based on 173 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · How we count
How they built through it
Married 6-10 years · In-laws · Together today
One of us left home in our first 6 years - and we're still together
We have been married for 6 to 10 years. Ours is a customary marriage. We have one child together. We live in Western.
Married 6-10 years · Money · Together today
Unfaithfulness nearly ended our marriage in year 7. Here's how we built it back
We have been married for 6 to 10 years. Ours is a come-we-stay, later formalised marriage. We have one child together. We live in Coast.
Married under 3 years · Money · Divorced
Job loss or business failure in year 3 of our marriage: what we learned
We have been married for less than 3 years. Ours is a church marriage. We have one child together. We live in Rift Valley.
Married 3-5 years · Money · Together today
We separated 3 times in our first 4 years - and we're still together
We have been married for 3 to 5 years. Ours is a islamic marriage. We have one child together. We live in Central.
Married under 3 years · Money · Divorced
Job loss or business failure in year 3 of our marriage: what we learned
We have been married for less than 3 years. Ours is a church marriage. We have one child together. We live in Rift Valley.
Fight fair on this
- 1Decide boundaries as a couple first, then each of you speaks to your own family.
- 2Do not make your spouse choose between you and their parents. Make it "us and our families".
- 3Keep your marriage problems out of family meetings unless you both agree to bring them.
If you are not safe
Being hit, threatened or controlled is not a rough patch - it is abuse, and it is never your fault. Help is free and confidential, for women and men.