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title: "Infertility and losing a child: couples who held on together | Vimeundwa"
description: "Waiting for a child that does not come, or losing one, is a grief that families often make heavier. These couples share how they carried it."
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> Index of every page on this site: [llms.txt](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/llms.txt)

# Infertility and losing a child: couples who held on together

Waiting for a child that does not come, or losing one, is a grief that families often make heavier. These couples share how they carried it.

![A young woman outdoors at night, reflecting](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/images/woman-night-960.webp)

## What couples told us

### **How many named this challenge**

**6%**

*6% of 529 people who described a hard season named infertility or loss of a child as one of the main challenges.*

Based on 529 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)

### **What helped most**

<details>

<summary>**Show the numbers**</summary>



| **Answer** | **People** | **%** |
| --- | --- | --- |
| My family | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Nothing helped | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Pastor, imam or faith leader | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Friends | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Professional counsellor | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| My spouse's family | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Elders | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| A book, course or seminar | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Mentor or older couple | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Online groups or social media | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| No one | 0 | 0% |
| Other | 0 | 0% |

</details>

Based on 30 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)

### **What did not help**

*The thing people most often said made it worse: silent treatment (63% of 30).*

<details>

<summary>**Show the numbers**</summary>



| **Answer** | **People** | **%** |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Silent treatment | 19 | 63.3% |
| Friends or family taking sides | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Threatening divorce | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Involving too many people | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Social media | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Leaving home | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Revenge | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Other | 0 | 0% |

</details>

Based on 30 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)

## How they built through it

No stories on this yet - the first ones are being collected right now.

## Fight fair on this

- 1Grief is different for each person. One may want to talk, the other may go quiet. Neither is wrong.
- 2Do not let relatives decide who is "to blame". Face family pressure as a team.
- 3Seek medical and counselling support together; it is not a weakness.

[Read the Fight Fair guide](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/fight-fair)

## If you are not safe

Being hit, threatened or controlled is not a rough patch - it is abuse, and it is never your fault. Help is free and confidential, for women and men.

- [**1195****National GBV helpline**Free, 24 hours](tel:1195)
- [**1199****Kenya Red Cross**Free counselling](tel:1199)

[**Abuse vs conflict, and how to plan for safety**](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/when-its-not-okay)

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