---
title: "Alcohol and addiction in marriage: couples who came through | Vimeundwa"
description: "Drinking, gambling or another habit can drain money and trust. Couples share what made change possible, and when it did not come."
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"og:title": "Alcohol and addiction in marriage: couples who came through"
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> Index of every page on this site: [llms.txt](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/llms.txt)
# Alcohol and addiction in marriage: couples who came through
Drinking, gambling or another habit can drain money and trust. Couples share what made change possible, and when it did not come.
## What couples told us
### **How many named this challenge**
**7%**
*7% of 529 people who described a hard season named alcohol or other addiction as one of the main challenges.*
Based on 529 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)
### **What helped most**
*Asked what helped most, the most common answer was nothing helped (37% of 35).*
**Show the numbers**
| **Answer** | **People** | **%** |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Nothing helped | 13 | 37.1% |
| My family | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Pastor, imam or faith leader | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Professional counsellor | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Mentor or older couple | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Friends | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Online groups or social media | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Elders | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| A book, course or seminar | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| No one | 0 | 0% |
| My spouse's family | 0 | 0% |
| Other | 0 | 0% |
Based on 35 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)
### **What did not help**
*The thing people most often said made it worse: silent treatment (57% of 35).*
**Show the numbers**
| **Answer** | **People** | **%** |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Silent treatment | 20 | 57.1% |
| Friends or family taking sides | 14 | 40% |
| Involving too many people | 13 | 37.1% |
| Threatening divorce | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Leaving home | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Social media | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Revenge | - | Hidden (fewer than 10) |
| Other | 0 | 0% |
Based on 35 responses · updated 13 November 2026 · [How we count](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/methodology)
## How they built through it
*Illustrative photo - not the couple in this story.*
**Married 3-5 years · Money · Together today**
### [We separated 3 times in our first 4 years - and we're still together](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/stories/we-separated-3-times-in-our-first-4-years-and-we-re-still-together-363ad9)
We have been married for 3 to 5 years. Ours is a islamic marriage. We have one child together. We live in Central.
*Illustrative photo - not the couple in this story.*
**Married under 3 years · Addiction · Separated now**
### [Alcohol or other addiction in year 3 of our marriage: what we learned](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/stories/alcohol-or-other-addiction-in-year-3-of-our-marriage-what-we-learned-53647d)
We have been married for less than 3 years. Ours is a church marriage. We have one child together. We live in Nairobi.
*Illustrative photo - not the couple in this story.*
**Married 21+ years · We keep fighting · Separated now**
### [Communication or constant fighting in year 3 of our marriage: what we learned](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/stories/communication-or-constant-fighting-in-year-3-of-our-marriage-what-we-l-7519f7)
We have been married for more than 20 years. Ours is a come-we-stay, later formalised marriage. We have three or more children. We live in Rift Valley.
**Both spouses' sides**
## Fight fair on this
- 1Speak about the drinking or gambling when your spouse is sober and calm, not in the moment.
- 2Protect household money: separate what is needed for food, rent and school fees.
- 3Change usually needs outside help: a support group, a counsellor or a treatment programme.
[Read the Fight Fair guide](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/fight-fair)
## If you are not safe
Being hit, threatened or controlled is not a rough patch - it is abuse, and it is never your fault. Help is free and confidential, for women and men.
- [**1195****National GBV helpline**Free, 24 hours](tel:1195)
- [**1199****Kenya Red Cross**Free counselling](tel:1199)
[**Abuse vs conflict, and how to plan for safety**](https://vimeundwa.upeo.ai/when-its-not-okay)
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